The Victims

For those who wouldn't take initiative and passive, I don't bother anymore. You may think that I'm someone hard to deal with, but it was never easy for me as well. Sometimes, I choose to be quiet as I believe in the fact that those who understand me would understand, those who doesn't just would not. And thus, I choose to move on, despite occasionally it still getting on my nerve. But let face this, I don't have time to take care of your mood when I barely can manage mine. Continue to act like a victim, I will take in your blames on me and choose to move on.

You may have think I'm heartless for not trying to make efforts for you, how do you know and so assure that I did not. When I simply choose not to voice out my internal struggle and trying to fix it again and again in my own way, yet keep getting the same results over and over again.

I get tired of this shit. Continue act like a victim, as I would as well. If destiny means for us to heading in different path, so be it.

Sleepless Night

So much changes have gone through that I'm getting this "I am female" awareness more and more.

I get myself feminine outfit during shopping.

I did more beauty care and check on mirror more often.

I take attention on my posture.

I care about how I look and wanted to work out for body shaping.

Apart of that, at this moment and this late hour, I am thinking if I could have someone hug me to sleep, or make love to me.

I supposed I am getting tired of living independently and desire for one who can let me lean on, sharing my joy and sorrow.

Sadly I also know that there isn't a right guy yet. The right one that would make me crazy after him. Afterall I am very aware that it is not easy for me to develop feeling for a person. I am always too calm, too rational, close to heartless.

Tough week that I had

Dear Blog

29th July: Got myself into a long session of argument with best buddy while busy with my works in customer site. Never an easy job to troubleshoot machines while handle people issues (him and clients). Heavy rain poured down forced us to stay in house and skipped lunch on that day, starved to hell. Just when I thought this is bad enough yet fate decided to leave me no mercy as one of the car drove through water pool on roadside and I ended up half wet during my way. And the fight with best buddy ended with no ending, I'm way too tired to deal with it anymore. #whydothistome

30th July: Sick symptom kicks in. Stay in office to finished up some other in house stuff whereas I need to get my mind clear off slightly. Took in some Vitamin C and praying super hard that I can get better on next morning day.

31st July: Officially man down. A little too late to rely on Vitamin C on this moment and I just have to visit Watson again to get a flu medicine this time #Ihatetobesick.

1st Aug: At least I'm getting good stuff today that my condition is getting well. And managed to find a working solution for a long pending task which I had tossed aside for a while. #thankgod

Verdict: When the confrontation came on me, I was thinking "not again..." since this is not the first time it is happen. It kinda make me start to think, perhaps we do have different expectations there and he did proved me wrong for thinking that he is one of the person that would have understand me more than anyone else. I was wrong, no one would... and I accepted it.

Signing off.

Procrastination Is A Sin

Once upon a time, we used to stand on the same level of beginning point. Today, I realized how far certain people had moved on and achieved so much, and some still lingering around in the same place, included me.

First, he used to be my classmate. Now he owned a car, houses and had just done his a month of Europe tour.

Second, he used to be my colleague. Now he is married, went through few jumping of job level and now as a technical consultant in one of the recognized MNC.

Third, used to be my colleague as well and who came in later than me. Now he is certified professional and working as Security Consultant. 

Fourth, my niece who is 2 years younger. Been promoted recently and earning more than 4k in my hometown (which is something VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE). Owning her own car and house and getting marry soon.

Now, here is something I'm very sure a few people will tell me. (especially from a guy that I knew he will definitely say that)

"You don't compare!"

Honestly, comparison is a way to gauge where did I stand in the path of life. Through compare, this is where I came to realize I have been staying in comfort zone far too long and I have been procrastinating to make any move even I wanted, because it is too good to stay in the beginning point. So, I wouldn't say it is a bad thing, otherwise I would still in the same place and wasting my time. And I can assure I did not want to heard that sentence from the people who still in the zone because this is what they like, they want and they do not understand me well enough to say that. All I know is that

"Procrastination is a sin"

Do it now before you started to regret it, because it is too late by that time. Time cannot be reversed and waits no one. I shall dedicated this to one particular stubborn person who I know, despite this person read the post or not. The moment you stop compare, is the moment you stopped moving and give up to fight because life is always struggling for fight.

Interview Strategy

Preparation is a must in order to nail a job and this is what I came through while looking for one.

Find out company profile
This is common sense. You should find out every single thing about the company. Look into glassdoor, linkedin, facebook, web site, tweeter and etc. Figure out who they are and what is their business, objective.

Who worked there and how is the working environment.
Start checking out the people and find out if they provided the work place, the team that made you wanted to join.

What is the key elements of new hire
Up until here, it should be easy for you to figure out what is the key attributes they are looking from a new hire, and if you have fulfill the role they want. Hardworking, optimistic, fun, smart, creative, confidence and etc.

Getting there
If you want the job,  list down these key elements and start practicing them. Anticipate the interview process and draft your answers to nail it down.

Also, search out those general interview questions and make your answers vary according to the attributes the company wants. That should make you well prepared and confident during the interview, instead of nervous, anxious.

What else you can do
Even if you did not received any calls from company request for interview, you still have things you can get ready for.

Find out technical questions that most likely will be ask. Study through the questions and ensure you had equipped with the knowledge to answer them if technical assessment will be conduct.

Read and catch up with the latest trend in current market. It is fine that you don't need to know everything, but getting some ideas of what is it.

Lastly
Speak out and show your passion. Convinced the interviewers that you are the right candidate for them, be genuine.

Determined

An article I read today and somehow I felt resonance as I'm sharing the anxious feeling there. So I'm going to post the link here to serve as a reminder for myself. I shall stay firm to the decision made and be loyal to my inner voice which has been telling me what I should do long time ago. No more hesitation.

http://techorange.com/2013/09/11/why-i-left-google/