Never Did I Know...

When thee asked am I serious and demand the very truth from me...

I was thinking, did I or did I not...
I know I changed my routine because I want to be the same place as thee did, doing the same thing too..
It was such a moment that had imprinted but I cannot say out loud

And so I answered yes it is.
I do not think of what would happen, nor expect anything in return. Because I know, there isn't anything gonna happen.

I said, there was 50% of fake because this is not thee wanted, also because I wasn't really sure what I have felt. I have been advised, maybe it ain't like that. And I should keep observe, and remains the bond. I have been told, to promised everything will be fine. And I couldn't...because deep down I did not want to. Never did I know, I could feel that strong of jealousy deep inside me.

And now, I'm still in confusion. No agony, no sadness, a little depression, a little....wondering. The wondering of...why am I still this calm, this cool, as if ....i have lost the ability to love, to seek for it. And maybe I did.

Let me be.... Perhaps that was for the good. For the past is still haunting me, and I'm in doubt that I know how to love. Fear within ain't easy, tho I deserved it...for what I did in the past.