Yes, I'm very depressing at the moment, regarding how I know my mind has been playing a trick on me with all the negative thoughts, low esteem and the fact that I haven't been doing anything productive. It is like there is a lock on my so called talent or potential you may call it, which has been limiting my own growth and sealing my potential in a tiny little box.
I can't seem to recall why or when is this happened, or am I the one lock it away when I was trying to throw away my naiveness while growing up to be a decent adult. I have realized that I'm probably the one who put up this lock and I need to remove it in order to grow more than what I am now. But it doesn't work out as I thought it should *ARGH!!* It looks like to remove a lock is harder than you lock it up *tear* Or perhaps, I just din't try hard enough *damn it*
Now that I'm letting out all of this by writing this post, releasing myself for just a bit. So that when I wake up tomorrow morning, I'm going to tell myself "A Good Day" and make my tempt to tear off the lock, even though it is going to take awhile. I just have to try harder and harder.
Talent, Potential, please wait for me. I'll be there soon enough to rescue you from this sealed box.
